I haven't written anything of substance recently. Partly because I wanted to push myself into depravity as much as I possibly could, before trying to reach some sort of epiphany about the current state of affairs. Not just my affairs, albeit my affairs have been fucked up in their own right, the collective affairs 'us'...pause. The irony of my dismal summation of the status quo is that this has been the way it has been as long as I could remember. As long as I had an independent thought in my fucking head, there was something fundamentally wrong with the manner in which we as a people, a species, conduct ourselves. I find myself laughing to myself more often these days, not because there is anything paticularly funny about what is going on around me, but because I am never suprised as to how low we set the bar each and every day. Continually setting it lower and lower until society, the media, the 'general consensus' is nothing more than pagentry and a silly fucking circus. So i laugh about it. ha.
"Your fat baby smokes a pack of cigarrettes a day?"
"You actually thought the lyrics -- 'I don't mind having conversations, but later can i fuck you in this parking lot?' -- were creative? You think you make music? Ya don't."
Hey AK I think Susanne Eman will tottally fuck you in the parking lot. Skeet Skeet Skeet.
Ha. There is no beauty here. That bullshit about appearances only applies to people who can't help their horrendousness. This bitch is just fat and lazy which is gross both on the inside and the out.
Ok I can save the rest of the youtube idiots (although to be fair AK Prime was using Vimeo -- classy) for a different discussion. Back to the now.
Morons such as these remind me that the world is not an inherently good place, and there is no omnipitent God who gives a flying fuck what happens. This is perhaps why I always found it difficult to find joy in anything. How could I sit around and pretend life was great, and that good permeated the atmosphere, when it was so evident (to me) that it did not.
A former coworker of mine told me this quote from Greek philosopher, Epicurus, which to this date is one of the single best arguments that logically disproves God (once again, for me...fucking pussies who wanna argue with me. I don't give a fuck what your thoughts on God are, because all of our opinions are ultimately wrong).
"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God?
So to the Christrian right. I ask you. If God and Jesus are all for love and prosperity and butt fucking and lolipops, then why is depravity winning this cultural battle? If the reality/truth was the fantasy you subscribe to, fat babies wouldn't smoke cigarettes, people wouldn't fill the vaccuum they call a soul with 10,000 calories a day then attempt to flaunt their bluberous sack of fat around like hot shit. Wake up and smell the feces.
Oh but there isn't any point of "dwelling" on the bad. Im not dwelling. I am just not ignoring what is right in front of me.
I don't know what has me so fucking perturbed. Doesn't really matter. It is hard to face the sobering reality that one life does not make a difference to the world. (dont start spitting MLK and Ghandi shit at me either. There is still racism, and imperialism is alive and well. The world didn't change. We as a species have some sort of inexplicable need to believe in something -- to have faith).
I dropped the burden of faith and picked up a heavier load. Burden yourself with what's real and true and see whether it makes you happier or more apathetic.
To the fat smoking baby: best of luck. Well there isn't anything thats gonna save you from lung cancer or a heart attack so I guess be glad you won't have to live long enough to realize how fucked up you are.
To AK Prime: I am not sorry for ripping on you. I think to call your 'song' music is funny. Maybe you can use your brain when you write your next one.
To the fat bitch. Stop eating.
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